Sometime Alone

Every now and then, everyone needs a break, some time off to reflect on things, reflect on life and reflect on ourselves. We often say," I need a break, sometimes alone, to reflect on my life and myself and where I am heading too." I know I have said that many times and I have heard a few friends say the same to me too. But how often do we actually 'go away from everything and everyone as we planned to when the thought comes into our minds. We plan to have some alone time, but when we take that break, all of a sudden, the plan changes. It ends up being for a holiday to spend time with family, a trip with good friends to a party, a romantic getaway with our special one, or a pilgrimage to an ashram or a retreat. I have this friend who always said he wants to have a holiday on his own. To reflect on his life, his direction and path, to overcome his fears, and to know what he really wants to do with his life. Also just to have some time alone with a good book and relax by the beach. But when he finally took a holiday, he ended up running chores, catching up on his sleep at home, and basically, time just passed that when his break was done, he realised he never did the things he wanted to when he took that leave from work. Most of us have been in that situation. I know I have. Many times. At this age and time, someone is always waiting for us, whether it's a friend, our children, our husband or wife, our parents, our lover, a date, or our boss. We are always on the move and in a hurry, rushing to avoid the traffic, rushing to catch the LRT/bus, rushing to meet the datelines, and rushing to not be late for work. Etc. One way or another, we are always chasing or rushing for something that we just never have time to just breathe. This trip I had to Kuching gave me time on my own, away from my family, friends and away from familiar faces. I had no distractions, not that I consider them as distractions :) But I had time for me, with me and with almost close to no worries or stress, I was able to clearly reflect on who I am? Who am I becoming? What have I been doing? What have I achieved? What are my Dreams? Whose lives have I touched? What is my sole purpose in life? Where am I heading from here? How am I going to give all I have been blessed with back to life? I noticed things about myself that I have not really paid much attention to in my daily life. This time alone made me feel thankful, motivated and inspired, and it gave me a clearer vision of where I am to go from here. I reflected back on the people who have come in and out of my life and noticed that everything that happened and all those I met had a reason and a purpose and had taught me something or other that I had to learn at this junction of my life. Be it the 'cleaner aunty' I talk to in the bathroom, a colleague that might have been too hard on me, a friend that I could count on, an elderly person I look up to and who advises me, or a person who kept pushing me down and dropping my self-esteem. It all happened at the right time and for a reason. It all made me who I am today and where I am today. At the same time, more thoughts came in, and I realised I hadn't been giving myself the attention I needed. With a routine of life, I guess I sometimes tend to forget that I need a moment each day for some "ME" time. I am deciding to take at least 30 mins every day to take a few deep breaths. To give me the time to reflect on my day. To ask me each day, "What did Life teach me today?" And "Who's Life did I touch today?" and "How can I make a better tomorrow for the people around me and me?" Are you with me in this? Have you taken the break you need to reflect on life? If not, when do you plan to? By Kapila Khindriya