Hear No Evil, Watch No Evil, Eat No Evil

Some say what we eat is what we are. Some believe this, while others may choose to disagree.

Well that’s a choice one makes on his own.

To me I feel that the food one consumes affects one, if not instantly, in time, but it does. And if it doesn’t affect in size or health, it does in behavior and how on reacts (lazy, lethargic, temperamental, or peaceful, calm, and content) Well, that’s my take on the food consumed.

Recently I’ve noticed, what we hear and what we see affects us a lot more than the food we consume. Psychologically and emotionally.

Think about it. Look at the people who watches a lot of cartoons, positive funny sitcoms, sci-fictions, inspirational or romantic comedy movies.
See how their minds think. See how they react at most situations and see how they are in their life and the way they live.

Now think of someone who dislikes those kind of genre and instead enjoy a lot of violence, vampires, horror movies, sadist sort of movies or sitcoms and see how they react in situations.
I’m sure they’d be a big difference in a more negative way.

Movies and songs that we hear often affects us subconsciously without us realizing, one way or another.

I know that songs have indeed made a big difference in my life. Listening to songs that are of heart broken lyrics, revengeful lyrics, plays at the back of our minds.
It affects our relationships in many ways. The way we deal in our relationship with our loved ones, our co-workers, family, etc.

For example, a songs that is motivating and catchy, of my mind I can recall the song that goes, “I wanna be a millionaire, so freaking bad..” is a very motivating and positive song.
It brings life to me and motivates me especially in the morning as I drive to work.

I remember when I was going through a break up , like most people, I’d be able to relate to all those heartbroken songs and used to be able to connect to those songs, but little did I know, it kept reminding me of a wound I was trying to heal from.

And when I finally chose and decided to stop listening to those songs and started listening to all the beautiful love songs, and motivational songs like “No Woman, No Cry” and “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”, “Survivor”, and inspirational talks that was given to me by a friend, I instantly felt good about life and myself and managed to move on easily. With my broken relationship and with the fact thati was losing my job.

As a child is in the womb, most mother usually plays soothing music, or spiritual music. There is a reason why they did that.
We forget that there is still a child in us as our mind keeps developing each day and the more positive we put in, the more positive we become and the more positive our aura is.


Well this is my take on this, try it, and see if it makes a difference in your life.

Kapila Khindriya

Don't Worry, Be Happy?

Very often we hear this phrase, “Don’t worry and be happy”
But how often do we follow this when we are in the situation?
Well over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed and met many people including myself who were facing with problems, worries and troubles. All I kept telling them and telling myself was, “Don’t worry Be Happy. This too shall pass.”
However as I was away for the holidays and had time to think about this, I realised that this isn’t the best advice for every situation.
Many a time in life we are faced with issues like financial issues and debts, health issues, unhappiness in a relationship, or a marriage, a job that isn’t right for us and I realised that in these situations, we can’t just choose to be happy assuming it’s all going to pass.
Instead, we should look into the matter and fix these holes before it gets bigger and deeper.
You can save your health, your financial state, your marriage or relationship, etc only if you choose to spend some time thinking how to fix it.
Usually, as humans we choose to worry, not realising that worrying brings no positive results as we’re just scaring a wound deeper by putting more negative energy in us, making us weak.
I then recalled what a good friend of mine once told me to do. To differentiate the problems I was facing and categorized them to what’s fixable and what was in my control, and what wasn’t. Then, I focused on the issues that was in my control, and addressed it with a clear focused mind and gave my full attention and effort to fix it. And it worked.
Even if it’s 50% that you’re in control, and you give all your best, you’ve practically won half the battle.
So if you’re facing a problem that was in your control. Take the time to clear your mind and think how you can face the issue in the most strategic way. If there is a risk that you feel it’s worth taking do damage control, do it before it’s too late.
Nothing is out of our reach, sometimes, it could be fate, and sometimes we rely on The Almighty God, however my parents always quoted the quote by Benjamin Franklin that, “God helps those who helps themselves”. And I guess it makes a lot of sense now to what she meant.
This reminds me of a good story I read somewhere, sometime ago which I’d like to share.
It’s about a man who kept praying every day to win the lottery as he really needed the cash for a lot of financial issues. Until he dies, he didn’t and when he went up to heaven, he asked God, “Why didn’t you let me win the lottery when I kept praying to your everyday to win the lottery, knowing how much problems I was having?” God answered, “My Child, if only you bought a lottery ticket”.
That was pretty inspirational to me.
Anyways this is just my take on this. Think about it :)

Kapila Khindriya

Decision Making & Moving On

All of us make small decisions each day. What to eat? Where to go ? Which route to use to go back home to avoid the traffic? etc. And all these decision are made instantly, knowing that they aren’t life changing decision that will impact us forever.

However there are times in life we are faced to make bigger decisions. Decisions that could probably change our path and direction in life altogether. For example, choosing a life partner, changing a house, changing jobs, or to move away from the country.

And at this junction is when one would feel the pressure. A lot of question would cross one’s mind. Am I making the right decision? Is this what I want? What if It’s the wrong choice? Will I be secured? What will this person think of my decision ? Who will support me if I fail?

Often, with all these question in mind, we finally decide to stay in our comfort zone. Due to the attachment we have, we tend not to move on. We hold and cling on to the known.
And even if we did made a decision, we would have run through them a million times with people around us and getting them to help us decide, so that we don’t take the entire blame when the decision we make doesn’t go as we assumed it would.

But with all this, we usually fail to realize that, without stepping out there and moving on, and facing that path, we aren’t gaining much. By taking the risk and moving on, we have a 50% chance of achieving something.
What’s the worst that can happen? Are we not able to handle it? I heard one that “God only gives us what he knows we can handle”. So why doubt it?

Who’s to judge us if we made a decision and move on ? Those who judge us aren’t the ones who care. The ones who care usually supports us and stands by us.

So if you are holding on to something or someone just because you’re in your comfort zone. Think again. Is I what you really want?

Kapila Khindriya

Having a Role Model

Often we hear people’s role model being a parent or parental-figure, a sports star, public speaker, a model, an actor’s/actresses, a prominent figure, a politician, a freedom fighter or someone successful or someone that would have made a big impact in the lives of people.

Having a role model is important in life as, what we learn from them, about them aren’t the things we learn in school or at work.
Some of us are able to speak directly to our role model, and others can read biographies of them to see who they really were and how they became who they are.

We don’t have a whole lifetime to make all the mistakes till we become successful. Learning all about that one person you look up too and knowing all you need to know, learning their mistakes, and at which junction they took which step and path, will enable us to make right decisions to fulfill our dreams.

I read this book sometime ago, by Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich and there was this one part there that I felt was very intriguing where he mentions how he had learnt all he needed on the few people he looked up too, like Henry Ford, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Graham Bell, etc. And how whenever he had a problem or a challenge, he closed his eyes and visualize them in a meeting, discussing his challenges and advising him based on their characteristics and approach in life which helped him solve a lot of his problems.

So think of someone you admire, in the way that you wished you were in that person’s shoes someday. Learn all about the person. His/her characteristics, nature, attitude, they way he/she looks at life and then connect and see what he/she saw through your eyes. Visualize them advising you as they would based on who they are. You’d probably be almost like that person, not in terms of style, but in the approach in life.

Remember, all these people who you look up too, idolize, and wish you were, were just people like you and me.

So what is stopping us?

Never underestimate yourself. You can be who you want to be but without taking that step, nothing will change.

By Kapila Khindriya

Sometime Alone

Every now and then, everyone needs a break, some time off to reflect on things, reflect on life and reflect on ourselves. We often say," I need a break, sometimes alone, to reflect on my life and myself and where I am heading too." I know I have said that many times and I have heard a few friends say the same to me too. But how often do we actually 'go away from everything and everyone as we planned to when the thought comes into our minds. We plan to have some alone time, but when we take that break, all of a sudden, the plan changes. It ends up being for a holiday to spend time with family, a trip with good friends to a party, a romantic getaway with our special one, or a pilgrimage to an ashram or a retreat. I have this friend who always said he wants to have a holiday on his own. To reflect on his life, his direction and path, to overcome his fears, and to know what he really wants to do with his life. Also just to have some time alone with a good book and relax by the beach. But when he finally took a holiday, he ended up running chores, catching up on his sleep at home, and basically, time just passed that when his break was done, he realised he never did the things he wanted to when he took that leave from work. Most of us have been in that situation. I know I have. Many times. At this age and time, someone is always waiting for us, whether it's a friend, our children, our husband or wife, our parents, our lover, a date, or our boss. We are always on the move and in a hurry, rushing to avoid the traffic, rushing to catch the LRT/bus, rushing to meet the datelines, and rushing to not be late for work. Etc. One way or another, we are always chasing or rushing for something that we just never have time to just breathe. This trip I had to Kuching gave me time on my own, away from my family, friends and away from familiar faces. I had no distractions, not that I consider them as distractions :) But I had time for me, with me and with almost close to no worries or stress, I was able to clearly reflect on who I am? Who am I becoming? What have I been doing? What have I achieved? What are my Dreams? Whose lives have I touched? What is my sole purpose in life? Where am I heading from here? How am I going to give all I have been blessed with back to life? I noticed things about myself that I have not really paid much attention to in my daily life. This time alone made me feel thankful, motivated and inspired, and it gave me a clearer vision of where I am to go from here. I reflected back on the people who have come in and out of my life and noticed that everything that happened and all those I met had a reason and a purpose and had taught me something or other that I had to learn at this junction of my life. Be it the 'cleaner aunty' I talk to in the bathroom, a colleague that might have been too hard on me, a friend that I could count on, an elderly person I look up to and who advises me, or a person who kept pushing me down and dropping my self-esteem. It all happened at the right time and for a reason. It all made me who I am today and where I am today. At the same time, more thoughts came in, and I realised I hadn't been giving myself the attention I needed. With a routine of life, I guess I sometimes tend to forget that I need a moment each day for some "ME" time. I am deciding to take at least 30 mins every day to take a few deep breaths. To give me the time to reflect on my day. To ask me each day, "What did Life teach me today?" And "Who's Life did I touch today?" and "How can I make a better tomorrow for the people around me and me?" Are you with me in this? Have you taken the break you need to reflect on life? If not, when do you plan to? By Kapila Khindriya

Inner Peace

“Anything is possible when you have inner peace.” Shifu

I learnt something yesterday , as I watched Kung fu Panda.

“Inner peace”. Such a simple word with a deep meaning.

To me, I would say that Inner peace is when, we are at peace within ourselves. When we are able to control our mind, body and soul despite what comes our way, as we are in such a calm state.

How I took this is that, if we consciously practiced inner peace throughout the day, and if anything came towards us. We will be able to see it coming, Face it, and React to it in a very calm sense that will only bring us victory.

For example, if we had inner peace, and we were at work, and someone had shouted at us, or said something to us that we probably didn’t agree too, we will be able to know how to respond and acknowledge it without being too emotionally affected. We won’t just react based on emotions but instead we’d address the issue in a more mature and practical manner.

This can be applied in a situation when you are attack, mugged, near accident experience, in relationships, disputes with family, friends,etc.
Basically in every aspect of our lives.

How would you start to practice this Inner Peace?

To me , I would believe the first step is to also be alert of your surroundings, be aware of yourself. Be conscious of yourself when you walk, when you talk, when you eat and when you say something to someone or when you react.

You’d be able to see that sometimes the things you say, might hurt others with the way you react. So probably, start counting to 5 before you react in a heated situation.

Being more aware of our surroundings also will give us a sense of awareness if we were going to be attacked. And we’d be calm and prepared on how to react.

Being more aware of your presence and seeing yourself outside of your body as a 3rd party. You’d be able to see who you actually are, instead of who you think you are.

The mirror shows us what we want to see but when we step out of ourselves and look at ourselves, that’s where we’ll see who we truly are.

We lose nothing by trying this even, if you don’t succeed, but if we do succeed , we have a lot to gain 

So let us all try to develop this inner peace. Let’s do it consciously first. And with a conscious practice, it will then become a natural behavior of ours/ a habit.

This will only give us the inner strength that we all need in life.

Try it.. 

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”-Wayne Dyer

By Kapila Khindriya