But Why...!?

Some people get things so easy in life. Some of them are deserving of it, and some do not as much. Who are we to judge? I guess these are the moments where you wonder what it is that's in for you, why haven't you got that sense of achievement, why is it that you haven't gotten that well-deserving promotion or that big break or that awaiting proposal or found that right one or strike that million dollars jackpot. One can either wonder or take a different perspective and choose not to wonder what the future holds but instead live the moment to the fullest with hope and faith. As the song, my parents always remind me about the song, "Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see, Que Sera Sera." As easy as it is to say and hear, it is indeed difficult to endure when you are smack right in the situation. You can't help but wonder about your fate despite having faith. I mean, after all, you're human. And you're bound to question life and the fairness around you. You'd end up asking yourself and feeling that sense of insecurity within you. But do you leave it at that? Do you just accept that? Do you then choose to go on being miserable just because it wasn't you? Or instead, do you accept the reality of karma, the cycle of life, the doing good for good. Karma doesn't hit you for something you might have just done in the past decade. It can go back to your past life, but it's definitely something you would have done that's making you go through what you are going through, and it may appear sour and sad for now, but it could only be because of what is to unfold in your life needed the perfect moment and the perfect moment is yet to come. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. Nature has a way of giving, as when it comes, it comes in abundance like a jackpot in life where every aspect of it blossoms. Why feel down for one thing that hasn't arrived yet. Know that when it comes for you, it will come in all aspects of it. Hence it takes a longer time. All you need is some patience, some faith, and believe in your own fate. Celebrate the joy of others for now, and just wait for your time. It can't be that far off as life's too short anyways. At least, that's what I choose to believe.

Words in Anger

You can never recover from the words that have been said. Words alone have so much power. It can inspire a man in a wheelchair to walking, and simultaneously, it can break the self-esteem of a very strong person. It can make a person’s day or tear a person down. Often, we come across situations where things we say or are said to that hurt. Some people say that “people never mean the things that are said in anger.” I’d disagree with that because nothing comes out of the mouth if it wasn’t in mind. And only when anger is present does one not think before speaking and blurt out what’s inside. Should we feel hurt, blamed and change ourselves just for what someone says or feel about us? It depends. If what’s said had some truth to it, and it was for our own betterment, then yes, why not? It’s always good to change for the better. However, if things said had no truth and were uncalled for, or that tear one’s self-esteem and confidence, then no! One should not let the words of others bring oneself down. This is because I sometimes feel the way people perceive us is only a reflection of who they are or how and what they can be if they were in such a situation. Therefore, there is no point in feeling down and hurt as we choose who we allow to control our emotions. When we are in such a situation, as difficult as it is, it’s best to take a step back and reflect. Have we been judged wrongly? Was there some truth to what was said? Or if we are being perceived in such a way by others is actually something we deserve. From reflection comes about realisation, and from realisation comes about strength and decisions on the next step. Ask yourself each day if you’ve used the power of words to inspire someone or hurt someone. “Words spoken in anger and hate are never forgotten! And only Love and Time can diminish those memories.”

What is "Perfect"?

We always talk of having the accomplishin the greates "P" in our life. "P" for Perfect. Having perfect life, having the perfect one in the perfect home,living the perfect moment and a perfect job which pressures us to be the being the perfect person. And we keep thinking of ways to achieve that perfection. But what exactly is the meaning of perfect that we are searching for? The Oxford Dictionary defines perfect as "having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be, absolute, complete" To me I feel perfect is the easiet thing to achieve. As perfect is nothing more that merely a state of the mind. Something we can achieve within us. Cause let's be real, What's a perfect life to you or a perfect person to you ain't perfect to another. So why search so hard and struggle through life for something that's easily achieved? Instead, I think Peace of mind is a far greater "P" we actually really need in our lives :)

Now you see it, now you don’t!

"Now you see it, now you don’t!"– A famous tagline by Chipsmore came to mind as I went through the experience of losing a dear friend recently. It’s all still so fresh in my mind. It was a Sunday morning, when I got a call stating my friend’s demise. I personally found it hard to believe. I recall, as I was rushing to get dressed, I was hoping so much that this wasn’t true and that it was a mistake. I remember the journey to meet him, me and my boyfriend was hoping so much it was merely a prank. I remember the emotions I felt and the thoughts that were running through my head. “Is this really happening? Why? How did it happen? No, this can’t be happening. It has to be a joke”. These thought were haunting me the whole time. When we arrived at the mortuary, that’s where it all hit me and I broke down. I was speechless as it was then I realize, this was really happening. He was lying there, cold with neither a breath, nor a movement. I am still trying to digest the fact that our friend left us that day. Left us at very early stage of our lives and that he will not be there in the rest of our journey in this world.

Such a carefree guy he was. He lived his life to the fullest each day. He was a good friend, good son, and good family member to his relatives as well to his colleagues. He always made me smile; his nature was to always be there for those around him. Be it a friend, a family member, a colleagues or a person who he just met, he always had a way to make us all smile and have a good time with his very own style. I am sure God took him away for a reason. I’m guessing it is to make him one of the guardian angels to look after us. God knew he had the heart of a child, so pure and innocent and decided to take him away from this materialistic world to a better place. And even though he won’t be here with us in person, he will always remain in our hearts and prayer each step of our lives.

Sometimes we tend to take things and people around us for granted that we never realize that nothing in life is certain. Nothing at all is certain, but death. Yet we as humans take everything else for granted except for death. Death doesn’t look at age. Death comes by fate. Why do we care so much of our own lives, when it hurts more to see someone else we love go? Why can’t we just care for ourselves and our loved ones around just as much l. We can never bring back time, we can never bring back people from the dead, we can never unsay words that have been said, we can never change the past. However what we can do is to make a change today. To ensure that we are aware of our actions, to be certain of the things we say cause who knows, that may just be the last thing we say or the last time we meet someone.

Walking Away to a New Begining..

There comes a time in your life where despite all the efforts, all the sacrifices, all the love, all the hopes and all the dreams, one will have to give up and just walk away. Thinking back, I realize I haven't been fortunate when it came to love and relationships. Even though the relationships in my life lasted long, they always had an end. I wouldn't deny that I have been blessed with the best of people in my life and with some of the most beautiful moments over the years, but somehow the partners I've chosen could not walk into the future with me. And even though the endings to my breakups weren't as cold as most breakups are, it hurt me every time to undergo this feeling that sometimes I may feel I was made to be alone. Could I have continued waiting and trying to make it work? Of course, but I guess "Once the elastic breaks. You can re-tie it, but there is now a knot, and suddenly that perfect perception of the other person is slightly tainted. Sometimes we can recover from this, and sometimes we can't. " And I guess I've come to a point where I realize that we cannot recover from this. Hence we have to move on. Do I regret loving? Do I regret falling? Not at all, simply because I feel that all this is just a phase in life and things I need to undergo to find the right one finally. The feeling of falling in love and staying in love is so wonderful that I'd do it repeatedly. Although there is a saying that in life, don't get too attached to people or things cause when you lose what you're connected to, you are bound to break. I'd still give love my all cause I believe it's not love and not a relationship if you hold back. And if it's not meant to be and if I was bound to be hurt again, I'd know in the end, I'd learn to be wiser, more mature, and it would give me a clearer picture of the kind of man I want in my life. I have always showered more love than my relationship partner, not expecting much in return. Still, I guess the least I expected was the appreciation and for that one not to walk away when the relationship seemed rocky. To not give up on all the love and efforts put in place. At least not give up without a fight and instead help and try to fix it together as one. The saying "for a relationship to work, we got to work on the relationship" makes absolute sense. When nothing is left to do, and all has been said and done, it is best to walk away, although it may seem easier to continue fighting for a familiar face and be in a comfortable place than to let go and start all over. People deal with breakups in many ways, and I guess there isn't a perfect way to get over it. For me, I am aware of the loss, and I am clear about what I am losing, and I know I am hurting. At the same time, I see a reason, a new beginning, and I am trying to come out of it in the best way, in a way that leaves me no confusion and in a way that will uplift me more than bring me down. In simple words, I'm healing the way I feel I should recover, and I want to heal well, to open my heart again to someone who deserves the pure undivided love in me and for me to accept his love and start a brand new story someday.

Procrastinating?

We often hear the saying that "people come to our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime".

I know I have said this a million times and to a large extent, I truly believe in this.
Recently, I found that people around us especially the ones who know us and care for us are usually the ones who have a better view of what we really are and need. This could be because they are looking at us with no attachment to things we are facing but merely looking at us as a whole and what we are capable of. On the other hand when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we choose to see what we want to see to see, and justifying ourselves for who we think we are and what we think we can be or do.

I enjoy writing or maybe writing helps me in my day to day life. Why? I guess besides expressing what I feel on a quote or a particular chapter in my life, it also answers most of my questions and doubts that I may have or am facing. Be it a difficult situation, a happy moment or a stressful time. Writing comes out effortlessly, naturally and spontaneously.
When I write, it brings out what I feel into perspective and as I write I find the answers I am looking for; most of the time, answers that were already there but were blocked with emotions, thoughts and confusion.

Despite knowing that, it has been almost 5 months since I did my usual writing. Each time I'd start, I'd doubt myself, afraid of being judged and would end up finding an excuse and blame it on the busy life schedule, or the fact that I was having a writer’s block.
I realize now that I was just procrastinating but not really understanding why. But the act of a simple gesture from a good friend, getting me a book to help remove the block I was “so called” facing was enough to get me started. And now as I write, I think to myself, was I really facing a block? Or did I just need someone to believe in me and someone who would not give up on me. I guess that was it, that was just enough to get me started again.

In life, there are many such moments and situations we could be in, where we just need a push, a bit support and faith to get us moving. These are the probably the driving factors, most of us, humans need.
I started off with the saying that “people come to our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime”.

Just as this friend who surely has been there for more than a season and truly for a reason.

Being in the Moment..

Kapila Khindriya


“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”-Albert Einstein

That's just a quote, but I felt it has such a deep meaning to it. It’s not merely about just kissing, but it relates to anything we do in our day to day life.

Generally in this fast paced life that we live in today, we believe one of the key competencies we look for in people or in ourselves is the ability to multi-task. We can't just do one thing at a time as then, we'd probably have too much to do and too little time.

So we start practicing to juggle a few things while doing our day to day work.
I am one of these people who multi-task. In fact, I have been known to be efficient and excellent in multi-tasking by my managers and I always took that as a compliment.

However after reading this quote, I sat back and thought, when I multi-task, am I giving my 100% effort and concentration that the task deserve? Although it gets the job done, and most of the time, it’s better than average, is it my best work?
What if I did with a full focus and concentration to it? Wouldn’t I enjoy it as I did it? Wouldn’t I find more ways to ensure it was the best work? Wouldn’t I find better ways to deliver it?

Be it a doing a report, having food, talking to a friend or listening to music, if we just did one thing at a time, we will be giving our energy to just that alone, and it sure has a great positive side from it.
Imagine just having a chocolate, focusing on each bite, as you savor each bite, how would the chocolate taste?

Now at the same time, if you were having the chocolate as we were watching a movie or talking to someone, how would it taste?
There is sure to be a difference as when you’re focusing on the chocolate alone, all senses would enhance the taste of the chocolate. I am just using chocolate as an example as that happened to me.

However, in this current world and the society we live in, we can’t always savor each moment and be in each moment as time doesn’t really wait for us.

But what I feel is that, we should do is to find some time, and try to practice, being in the moment in whatever we do. Especially in the things that really matters to us.

It's just my thoughts :)

Beauty of Life,Eyes Can't Capture

If only we could capture every moment and little things around us, just as how a camera captures them. Recently I was in a conversation with a friend who had recently started photography as a hobby. When he first told me that, for a second, deep within me, I felt like, seriously? Photography as a hobby? I used to feel that photography was something people just did to capture moments, important events and memorable times that they would want to remember and someday can pull out that moment through pictures. Or maybe in this age and time, to share photos with their friends on Facebook and get a good profile picture to find dates, etc. What amused me further was when he shared his work of photographs taken; I saw that he had captured not only pictures of people and special moments but also pictures of insects like butterflies, scenery, fishes, plants, buildings, etc. At first, before I looked closely at it, I thought to myself, why would one take a picture of a butterfly? But, the closer I looked at this picture of the butterfly, the more I saw things in the butterfly my naked eyes couldn’t capture otherwise. I mean, yes, most of us would agree that butterflies are beautiful. However, the beauty of it through the lens of a camera, the art, passion and talent took to capture it sure made the butterfly more alive in the photo than it does on a tree, to the extent that I felt connected to it. I then looked through his collection and was so impressed with what a camera could do. I felt enlightened. That’s when I realize that we have a pair of eyes to see. And yes, we can choose to see the beauty of life how we want to. However, it would take a lot, or it could almost be impossible for our minds to capture what we see in life just the way a camera captures it. All we can do is try. Try to look at things more profound and try to capture the beauty in all we see. After being able to do that, life would not look the same again. I do hope, with technology being so advanced, there comes a day when there will be a contact lens that could capture that beauty of life a camera does. I think I’d be the first one to get it. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson By Kapila Khindriya

Fear of the Unknown

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood" - Marie Curie

Fear is something that lies within each and every one of us. It’s the reason why most of us are so dependent, so afraid or so uptight in our ways and don’t believe in taking risk.
One thing we fail to realize is, from the day we were born, we have been taking risks.
Without realizing, every single step is a risk.

The risk we take and don’t realize usually are the ones that have a minimal impact to our lives therefor we take it. However the rest, we choose to fear it and not face it as we feel there either could be a big risk involved or simply because we it is unknown to us.

Why is it we have fears?
A friend once told me that, we fear because we are uncertain of the end result or what comes after.

When I thought deeper on that , I started realizing. Why do we fear ghost? It’s because we haven’t seen them.
Why do we fear death? It’s because we haven’t faced it. Why do we fear losing someone special? It’s because we are unaware of how live would be without them.
And the list can go on…

Fear is a constant feeling everyone feels. Even the strongest man on earth does fear something in life.

Why is it we should try to get rid of fear? Fear usually leads to anxiety and worry. Worrying takes up a lot of energy, making one weaker by the day.
And when one is to face the situation, because of all the energy being drained out worrying, one tends to break easily.

It’s best to save the energy and face the situation strongly than fear the end result, worry and go nowhere from it.

How do you take away the feeling of fear?
To me I feel there is many ways of reducing the fear in us. It depends on the situation we are facing to practice them.
One of the ways I try to practice is, by choosing to face it bravely, but knowing and understanding all about something beforehand, to be to handle the situation whichever way it falls to.
The other way is to be less attached to the situations, or people and things.
It that way, we would neither be happy or sad if things didn’t come as we planned or hoped.

Sometimes we fail to realize, nothing is certain and things can happen differently. Being so attached to it, we fear the end result.
However, if we are not so attached to it, we will be less affected to it. And it might just be a pleasant surprise.

What is the worst that can happen anyways?
No challenge is thrown to us, that we can’t handle or face.
It will only makes us stronger if we let it take its course.

Well, these are just my thoughts.

“Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop”

Kapila Khindriya

Prisoners of Life

Kapila Khindriya

Most of us are so involved in making a living, that very often we fail to live it.

We journey through life with strained eyes so fixed upon the distant goal, that we tend to lose sight of the beauty and care and love that enriches our lives.

Is this because we have high goals that are hard to achieve? Is it wrong to have goals and focus on them? Is it necessary for us to sacrifice time with our loved ones and not have time for a holiday and not focus on ourselves, our development and our health for this success?

I feel it’s simply a choice. The choice on how we choose to live it.

Sacrifices are made by those who can’t see their goals clearly or for those who aren’t sure how to achieve their goals or probably those who aren’t sure what they really want.

Why is it that some people can achieve their goals without major sacrifices? Is it because they chooses to see the journey of success knowing exactly what they want to achieve and how they choose to embark that journey.

As an example, look at life through a binoculars. There are two openings to a binoculars.

To me I feel, an optimist will choose to look at it from the right side, where they’d be able to see how clear their journey is, how much time they have, looking at it from a broad perspective and the big picture , and how to manage it well with the least complains. However, a pessimist would choose to look from the other end, seeing how narrow the journey is, always looking at a small picture, and how little time they have, how they have to cut their way through the challenges, and all the things they need to sacrifice in order to achieve that success as they complain each step of the way.

Great goals and dreams should consist of SMART ones. One that is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and has a logical time, that after achieving that, one proceed to another goal.
This will then enable one to not just be successful in achieving ones dreams, but to enjoy the beauty as one goes through that path.

What is the point of trying to make a living and trying to achieve goals in life , if one has neglected time with loved ones, not developed oneself, or character, nor looked after one’s health and one’s affectionate side?

Ask yourself…Is it worth it in the end ?

Start Living Life and NOT just Make a Living off Life

Mental Poison

Kapila Khindriya

Most parents tend to protect their children by keeping them away from sharp objects, fire, hot appliances, etc. From a young age, we are thought to keep a distance from strangers for our safety and to look left and right as we cross the road to prevent an accident. All this was done, to protect them from physical harm.

While keeping poisonous drugs and chemicals out of their children’s reach, what most parents fail to do is to prevent their little lives and teach them how to avoid from being poisoned with the most poisonous drug of all, called the ‘Mental Poison’. Not aware that this poison surrounds us all and tends to hurts, harm, scar and cripple one, in a deeper way than one may think.

What is Mental Poison ? It is deadly, destructive thoughts, moods, emotions and negative vibes.

Emotions, moods and thoughts play a very important part in one’s life. One may survive in this world with a burnt finger or a broken leg, but not with a mind that has been poisoned with negativity.
A negative mind could result in one having low self-esteem, depressed, fear, distrust or a mind that has be poisoned with guilt, negativity, that will only tend to destruct oneself.

With negative energies around, brings out negative emotions. And if one is not aware of how to refrain from being affected by it, it will make one a pessimist.

Being a pessimist, one tend to look at everything in life as bad as it could possibly be. And this brings out constant complains, dissatisfaction, unhappiness and these are all the true natural ingredients to ruins one’s health and life.

Therefore, a positive mind, gives one positive energy, with that, it keeps one healthy, both physically and mentally, and with that gives one true happiness in life.

Death

by Kapila Khindriya

Death is something that we need not fear as it’s bound to happen. From the day we are born, we are destined to die.

It’s how we choose to live it, who’s lives we choose to touch and how we choose to end it.

Sometimes we don’t show enough appreciation to someone when it’s deserved or we say harsh things to someone at work or at home. Thinking that we’ll have tomorrow to say it or to make things right. Who knows if there is a tomorrow in store for them or for us ?

Some people say that flashes of life and things we say and do come before us as we take our last breath. Wouldn’t we want it to be with no regrets?

Who knows if we ever do get a chance to tell someone how much they truly mean to us. Who knows if we postpone a catch up with someone, we’d still have that time in the future with them?

Three weeks ago I got a call from an good friend that I had not heard from for the past 4 years. He was away working in Singapore and had recently got back as he just got a job in KL. He called up and we had a short chat and discussed to meet sometime soon. Days passed and weeks passed and well, we didn’t get the chance to meet.

Then last week I got a call that stated he had met in an accident and passed on.

I couldn’t believe it, and could accept it as I had just spoken to him 2 weeks prior to that but never got that chance to meet up.

The feeling of loss was dearly felt and it thought me that as much as I thought I don’t take things for granted. In a way without me realizing, I did.

And although we know death comes to anyone and anytime, I always felt that those who left me were mainly those who passed on due to old age. Never really expected a young person, my friend to go.

With our lives being busy, sometimes we fail to realize that nothing is permanent. We tend to take people, especially the ones closest to us for granted.

Be it our parents, our children, our siblings, our colleagues, our friends, relatives etc.

Let the last things we say to someone be the things we are willing to live with if that's happens to be the last word we ever get to say to them.

What do we lose by that?

To all my family ,friends, and colleagues, out there, I just want to say that, you have indeed touched my life one way or another and made me who I am today. Thank you for being you & I love you!

Thoughts do Attract!

“We tend to attract whatever thoughts of desire or expectation that we persistently hold in the mind” -Unknown

I came across this quote, and felt that I could really relate to it. It basically defines the Law of Attraction. Something I always try to practice.

However, all this while when I practice the law of attraction, be it for a job I want, the life I want, the partner I want or be it small little things such as getting a parking spot in a mall during a rush hour,(thanks to a friend who taught me that:), I never realized that despite all that, The Law of Attraction not only attracted things that were tangible but also to things I wanted emotionally.

For example, when we keep seeing the best in people, spreading love and joy, believing in true love and friendship, believing in people, or even thinking how to make a difference in someone’s life, the same thing actually comes right in front of our eyes. Sometimes without us realizing. And these emotional satisfaction as they consist of feelings that are indefinable.

Sometime we may feel we are not worthy of something that comes before us. Being the honest person we may be, as we might not have put in enough effort to achieve something, we tend let it go. As we feel there might be a catch, or it’s too good to be true. Then, there are those who put so much effort, but never gets the opportunity the others got. Is it luck? Maybe. However I feel what one fails to realize is, sometimes it’s the thoughts and possibly simple actions in our mind throughout the day that brings us to that which is offered to us.

I know my dad, being the man he is, would always ask, “What did you to deserve that?” “Why is he/she being so nice to you?” “Did you work hard enough to get that?” “How come you?”.
It’s only human to think and ask, but that’s when I smile and tell my dad what he used to teach me once before and say, “ It’s Karma, dad!”.

As I write this, I feel in a way, that the Law of Attraction and the Law of Karma, that goes “what goes around comes around” pretty much means the same, driving the same result.
I may be wrong, but , It’s just what I feel.

You see, we tend to attract people who are like us. We tend to attract the job we are capable of doing or wanting to do. We attract the kind of life we want to be a part of. It’s all in the mind and in our thoughts and the more we give, even if it’s just through the mind and our thoughts, the more we get in return.
I guess maybe it’s like they say what we think, we act. Even if it’s subconsciously, we act based on our thoughts.

Like prayers. We pray, we don’t know if we are heard, but we often see the results. Though sometimes the results may not be obvious. It’s still there.
Likewise, If we mean well, we think good, we act good, good things will come. And even if it doesn’t comes our way, what’s there to lose? There would definitely be some satisfaction to it.

Over the years, I notice that, the more I worry, the more worries came before me, the more I doubted, the more doubts came before me, the more I distrusted people, the more lies and dishonesty came before me. However the more positive I was, more positive things come to me. And since then, I try and try to just see the best in people, do the best I can, even if it’s not by actions, the thought of wanting to make that difference has indeed made a huge difference in my life.

When I think of these positive beautiful thoughts, and when I act on them, do I expect anything in return ? No!
So for me it’s been a journey of surprise, surprise. And I’m always going to be surprise even in the future as I never know what will come my way.
After all, it’s life and well, we are all humans. At time of distress, we might tend to attract the wrong things. All we can do is try.

So, If you aren’t getting what you want or living the life you want. Start noticing, what it is that you mind is focusing on. What is it that you are constantly thinking of. And maybe start attracting what you want to be attracting.

Well these are just my thoughts.. What do you think ?


“We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.” Buddha

Kapila Khindriya

What I See May Not Be What You See

A few weeks back, I sat on the balcony of this restaurant in PJ for dinner. This place had the most comfortable couch. As I tilted my head up I look at the clear sky, I saw 2 stars. The longer I stared at the sky and on that same spot, the more stars came before my eyes. I found this so magical so I turned over to a friend who was with me and asked him to look up for a while, and shared what I experience but all he could see was the first 2 stars I first saw. A part of him felt I was seeing things or it was just my imagination. As despite how long he looked at that clear sky, he didn’t see any more than that 2 prominent stars.

I wasn’t sure what I saw was real so I went back there again a week later and with another friend. Sat in the same place and asked this friend to look up , and see what he noticed. And how many stars he could see. He started with 3 stars on that night and the numbers started growing the longer he stared at that same spot. He experience the same thing I did.

I realize then, some of the best teachings in life, comes from nature itself. Mother Nature teaches us a lot if only we put time to listen and learn from Her.

Like from this teaching, I learned that sometimes, when we are faced with a problem, what we tend to see just a picture that comes before us. We act on it, and we fail. Usually it’s because we didn’t take the time to see the whole picture, to study the situation and see the possible ways to act on it.

Also sometimes, in a situation, we may perceive differently compare to another. And the way we act on it could probably differ from another person. Does that mean we are wrong ? Or are they wrong? It could be both, it could be neither as sometimes it’s merely approaching a situation in differently style.
Yesterday was of a weird day emotionally for me. As I had a long conversation with my best friend over dinner, it just got me thinking a lot about how differently each individual view people and view life itself . What we experience is so different from others and as much as we’d like to share, it’s sometimes can be so hard to explain it to .
I know I have felt that way. It's strange to think that no matter how much I try to describe the way I'm feeling in a certain situation, there is literally no way that I could truly convey the complexity of my emotional response to someone who hasn't experienced it.
Anyways, on a clear night, try to sit in an open place and look up at the sky, and count the stars, and as few as it may seem to be at first, stare a little longer on the same spot and see your numbers grow.
See what thoughts come in your mind. You’d be surprise 

Well, that is my take on this.

Cheers! 


The picture above is an optical picture. Did you notice the face of the man first ? Or later? Or can you not see it at all?
Does the mean it’s not there?

Letting Go

Why is it so hard to let go?
I am sure many of us have felt this way where we are faced with a situation where we want to let go but it’s just so hard.

We fail to realize that what is ours today, was somebody else's yesterday and will be somebody else's tomorrow.
This could refer to our past, an incident, a person we love, a position we hold, a job we do, a house we lived in for years, or a car, etc.
Is letting go a bad thing to do? It never is. Or at least in most situations that I can think of tells me it isn’t

Letting go of something or someone simply means something better is coming our way.
As the famous saying by Alexander Graham Bell goes, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

A friend mentioned the other day, she was finding it so hard to let go of her role as a manager for her team as she feels it’s like her baby and though she's gotten promoted to a Regional Manager. It just seems hard for her to let go not knowing how the team is going to take off without her and whether it will be all okay with a new person.
Usually what makes it hard to let go is when we have a strong attachment to something or someone, or the passion in something we do.

Is it good to have attachments? Some would say no and some would say yes.
I choose to say it all depends on what it is, and what’s the reason. As at this age and time, it’s pretty hard to be completely detached from everything.
However, I feel that even if we can’t be detached, the least we should do is, to learn to let go when and if it’s meant to go, knowing it wasn’t ours to begin with and that we gave our best.

I am still learning to let go off things in my life, especially things that are out of control and that are meant to go. I am keeping an open mind, having that faith, that there was a reason to why I had to let it go and only time will show.

Hear No Evil, Watch No Evil, Eat No Evil

Some say what we eat is what we are. Some believe this, while others may choose to disagree.

Well that’s a choice one makes on his own.

To me I feel that the food one consumes affects one, if not instantly, in time, but it does. And if it doesn’t affect in size or health, it does in behavior and how on reacts (lazy, lethargic, temperamental, or peaceful, calm, and content) Well, that’s my take on the food consumed.

Recently I’ve noticed, what we hear and what we see affects us a lot more than the food we consume. Psychologically and emotionally.

Think about it. Look at the people who watches a lot of cartoons, positive funny sitcoms, sci-fictions, inspirational or romantic comedy movies.
See how their minds think. See how they react at most situations and see how they are in their life and the way they live.

Now think of someone who dislikes those kind of genre and instead enjoy a lot of violence, vampires, horror movies, sadist sort of movies or sitcoms and see how they react in situations.
I’m sure they’d be a big difference in a more negative way.

Movies and songs that we hear often affects us subconsciously without us realizing, one way or another.

I know that songs have indeed made a big difference in my life. Listening to songs that are of heart broken lyrics, revengeful lyrics, plays at the back of our minds.
It affects our relationships in many ways. The way we deal in our relationship with our loved ones, our co-workers, family, etc.

For example, a songs that is motivating and catchy, of my mind I can recall the song that goes, “I wanna be a millionaire, so freaking bad..” is a very motivating and positive song.
It brings life to me and motivates me especially in the morning as I drive to work.

I remember when I was going through a break up , like most people, I’d be able to relate to all those heartbroken songs and used to be able to connect to those songs, but little did I know, it kept reminding me of a wound I was trying to heal from.

And when I finally chose and decided to stop listening to those songs and started listening to all the beautiful love songs, and motivational songs like “No Woman, No Cry” and “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”, “Survivor”, and inspirational talks that was given to me by a friend, I instantly felt good about life and myself and managed to move on easily. With my broken relationship and with the fact thati was losing my job.

As a child is in the womb, most mother usually plays soothing music, or spiritual music. There is a reason why they did that.
We forget that there is still a child in us as our mind keeps developing each day and the more positive we put in, the more positive we become and the more positive our aura is.


Well this is my take on this, try it, and see if it makes a difference in your life.

Kapila Khindriya

Don't Worry, Be Happy?

Very often we hear this phrase, “Don’t worry and be happy”
But how often do we follow this when we are in the situation?
Well over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed and met many people including myself who were facing with problems, worries and troubles. All I kept telling them and telling myself was, “Don’t worry Be Happy. This too shall pass.”
However as I was away for the holidays and had time to think about this, I realised that this isn’t the best advice for every situation.
Many a time in life we are faced with issues like financial issues and debts, health issues, unhappiness in a relationship, or a marriage, a job that isn’t right for us and I realised that in these situations, we can’t just choose to be happy assuming it’s all going to pass.
Instead, we should look into the matter and fix these holes before it gets bigger and deeper.
You can save your health, your financial state, your marriage or relationship, etc only if you choose to spend some time thinking how to fix it.
Usually, as humans we choose to worry, not realising that worrying brings no positive results as we’re just scaring a wound deeper by putting more negative energy in us, making us weak.
I then recalled what a good friend of mine once told me to do. To differentiate the problems I was facing and categorized them to what’s fixable and what was in my control, and what wasn’t. Then, I focused on the issues that was in my control, and addressed it with a clear focused mind and gave my full attention and effort to fix it. And it worked.
Even if it’s 50% that you’re in control, and you give all your best, you’ve practically won half the battle.
So if you’re facing a problem that was in your control. Take the time to clear your mind and think how you can face the issue in the most strategic way. If there is a risk that you feel it’s worth taking do damage control, do it before it’s too late.
Nothing is out of our reach, sometimes, it could be fate, and sometimes we rely on The Almighty God, however my parents always quoted the quote by Benjamin Franklin that, “God helps those who helps themselves”. And I guess it makes a lot of sense now to what she meant.
This reminds me of a good story I read somewhere, sometime ago which I’d like to share.
It’s about a man who kept praying every day to win the lottery as he really needed the cash for a lot of financial issues. Until he dies, he didn’t and when he went up to heaven, he asked God, “Why didn’t you let me win the lottery when I kept praying to your everyday to win the lottery, knowing how much problems I was having?” God answered, “My Child, if only you bought a lottery ticket”.
That was pretty inspirational to me.
Anyways this is just my take on this. Think about it :)

Kapila Khindriya

Decision Making & Moving On

All of us make small decisions each day. What to eat? Where to go ? Which route to use to go back home to avoid the traffic? etc. And all these decision are made instantly, knowing that they aren’t life changing decision that will impact us forever.

However there are times in life we are faced to make bigger decisions. Decisions that could probably change our path and direction in life altogether. For example, choosing a life partner, changing a house, changing jobs, or to move away from the country.

And at this junction is when one would feel the pressure. A lot of question would cross one’s mind. Am I making the right decision? Is this what I want? What if It’s the wrong choice? Will I be secured? What will this person think of my decision ? Who will support me if I fail?

Often, with all these question in mind, we finally decide to stay in our comfort zone. Due to the attachment we have, we tend not to move on. We hold and cling on to the known.
And even if we did made a decision, we would have run through them a million times with people around us and getting them to help us decide, so that we don’t take the entire blame when the decision we make doesn’t go as we assumed it would.

But with all this, we usually fail to realize that, without stepping out there and moving on, and facing that path, we aren’t gaining much. By taking the risk and moving on, we have a 50% chance of achieving something.
What’s the worst that can happen? Are we not able to handle it? I heard one that “God only gives us what he knows we can handle”. So why doubt it?

Who’s to judge us if we made a decision and move on ? Those who judge us aren’t the ones who care. The ones who care usually supports us and stands by us.

So if you are holding on to something or someone just because you’re in your comfort zone. Think again. Is I what you really want?

Kapila Khindriya

Having a Role Model

Often we hear people’s role model being a parent or parental-figure, a sports star, public speaker, a model, an actor’s/actresses, a prominent figure, a politician, a freedom fighter or someone successful or someone that would have made a big impact in the lives of people.

Having a role model is important in life as, what we learn from them, about them aren’t the things we learn in school or at work.
Some of us are able to speak directly to our role model, and others can read biographies of them to see who they really were and how they became who they are.

We don’t have a whole lifetime to make all the mistakes till we become successful. Learning all about that one person you look up too and knowing all you need to know, learning their mistakes, and at which junction they took which step and path, will enable us to make right decisions to fulfill our dreams.

I read this book sometime ago, by Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich and there was this one part there that I felt was very intriguing where he mentions how he had learnt all he needed on the few people he looked up too, like Henry Ford, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Graham Bell, etc. And how whenever he had a problem or a challenge, he closed his eyes and visualize them in a meeting, discussing his challenges and advising him based on their characteristics and approach in life which helped him solve a lot of his problems.

So think of someone you admire, in the way that you wished you were in that person’s shoes someday. Learn all about the person. His/her characteristics, nature, attitude, they way he/she looks at life and then connect and see what he/she saw through your eyes. Visualize them advising you as they would based on who they are. You’d probably be almost like that person, not in terms of style, but in the approach in life.

Remember, all these people who you look up too, idolize, and wish you were, were just people like you and me.

So what is stopping us?

Never underestimate yourself. You can be who you want to be but without taking that step, nothing will change.

By Kapila Khindriya

Sometime Alone

Every now and then, everyone needs a break, some time off to reflect on things, reflect on life and reflect on ourselves. We often say," I need a break, sometimes alone, to reflect on my life and myself and where I am heading too." I know I have said that many times and I have heard a few friends say the same to me too. But how often do we actually 'go away from everything and everyone as we planned to when the thought comes into our minds. We plan to have some alone time, but when we take that break, all of a sudden, the plan changes. It ends up being for a holiday to spend time with family, a trip with good friends to a party, a romantic getaway with our special one, or a pilgrimage to an ashram or a retreat. I have this friend who always said he wants to have a holiday on his own. To reflect on his life, his direction and path, to overcome his fears, and to know what he really wants to do with his life. Also just to have some time alone with a good book and relax by the beach. But when he finally took a holiday, he ended up running chores, catching up on his sleep at home, and basically, time just passed that when his break was done, he realised he never did the things he wanted to when he took that leave from work. Most of us have been in that situation. I know I have. Many times. At this age and time, someone is always waiting for us, whether it's a friend, our children, our husband or wife, our parents, our lover, a date, or our boss. We are always on the move and in a hurry, rushing to avoid the traffic, rushing to catch the LRT/bus, rushing to meet the datelines, and rushing to not be late for work. Etc. One way or another, we are always chasing or rushing for something that we just never have time to just breathe. This trip I had to Kuching gave me time on my own, away from my family, friends and away from familiar faces. I had no distractions, not that I consider them as distractions :) But I had time for me, with me and with almost close to no worries or stress, I was able to clearly reflect on who I am? Who am I becoming? What have I been doing? What have I achieved? What are my Dreams? Whose lives have I touched? What is my sole purpose in life? Where am I heading from here? How am I going to give all I have been blessed with back to life? I noticed things about myself that I have not really paid much attention to in my daily life. This time alone made me feel thankful, motivated and inspired, and it gave me a clearer vision of where I am to go from here. I reflected back on the people who have come in and out of my life and noticed that everything that happened and all those I met had a reason and a purpose and had taught me something or other that I had to learn at this junction of my life. Be it the 'cleaner aunty' I talk to in the bathroom, a colleague that might have been too hard on me, a friend that I could count on, an elderly person I look up to and who advises me, or a person who kept pushing me down and dropping my self-esteem. It all happened at the right time and for a reason. It all made me who I am today and where I am today. At the same time, more thoughts came in, and I realised I hadn't been giving myself the attention I needed. With a routine of life, I guess I sometimes tend to forget that I need a moment each day for some "ME" time. I am deciding to take at least 30 mins every day to take a few deep breaths. To give me the time to reflect on my day. To ask me each day, "What did Life teach me today?" And "Who's Life did I touch today?" and "How can I make a better tomorrow for the people around me and me?" Are you with me in this? Have you taken the break you need to reflect on life? If not, when do you plan to? By Kapila Khindriya

Inner Peace

“Anything is possible when you have inner peace.” Shifu

I learnt something yesterday , as I watched Kung fu Panda.

“Inner peace”. Such a simple word with a deep meaning.

To me, I would say that Inner peace is when, we are at peace within ourselves. When we are able to control our mind, body and soul despite what comes our way, as we are in such a calm state.

How I took this is that, if we consciously practiced inner peace throughout the day, and if anything came towards us. We will be able to see it coming, Face it, and React to it in a very calm sense that will only bring us victory.

For example, if we had inner peace, and we were at work, and someone had shouted at us, or said something to us that we probably didn’t agree too, we will be able to know how to respond and acknowledge it without being too emotionally affected. We won’t just react based on emotions but instead we’d address the issue in a more mature and practical manner.

This can be applied in a situation when you are attack, mugged, near accident experience, in relationships, disputes with family, friends,etc.
Basically in every aspect of our lives.

How would you start to practice this Inner Peace?

To me , I would believe the first step is to also be alert of your surroundings, be aware of yourself. Be conscious of yourself when you walk, when you talk, when you eat and when you say something to someone or when you react.

You’d be able to see that sometimes the things you say, might hurt others with the way you react. So probably, start counting to 5 before you react in a heated situation.

Being more aware of our surroundings also will give us a sense of awareness if we were going to be attacked. And we’d be calm and prepared on how to react.

Being more aware of your presence and seeing yourself outside of your body as a 3rd party. You’d be able to see who you actually are, instead of who you think you are.

The mirror shows us what we want to see but when we step out of ourselves and look at ourselves, that’s where we’ll see who we truly are.

We lose nothing by trying this even, if you don’t succeed, but if we do succeed , we have a lot to gain 

So let us all try to develop this inner peace. Let’s do it consciously first. And with a conscious practice, it will then become a natural behavior of ours/ a habit.

This will only give us the inner strength that we all need in life.

Try it.. 

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”-Wayne Dyer

By Kapila Khindriya

Do you want to be happy?

Of course, everyone thinks of being happy, everyone thinks of achieving something and basically everyone cares about what they can have and how they can have it.
Everyone wants to shine and in the midst of that, some people tend to criticize and lower others just to shine.
I remember when I was young about 5 years old , and when my brothers got scolding for not studying for their exams, I use to go to mom and dad and open a story book and say, “ I love to study!” and my brothers use to get all upset as I was practically rubbing salt and getting them into more trouble.
Well of course, I use to get more bullied for that act of mine when mom and dad weren’t around.

However, that sure did teach me something. I learnt that by doing that, I was losing the respect of my brothers. We were being separated with this act of mine.
And I realize, in life, people who do this, always tends to lose the respect from their co-workers, managers, friends, etc.
Even if they were not insulting the person they spoke to directly, it still shows a person’s thoughts and character.
And if one could go to someone to criticize about another, what stops one from going to another person to talk about the other person she/he has spoken to before.

Criticizing and gossiping is not the same as expressing your opinion out to someone.

It’s always believed that if you feel that someone has mistreated you/been unfair to you or you are upset with, go directly to the source and express how you feel. What difference does it make it you don’t share what you feel directly to the individual who upsetted you?
What’s the point talking about the matter to everyone else as it’s not going to fix the matter in anyway unless you go to the source directly.
All that talk just makes you more frustrated.

Some people may hate the idea of politics, and the idea of gossiping, without realizing that they are the ones who do it all the time.
How do you change your surrounding without changing yourself?
How can you stop gossiping? How can you stop an environment from having politics?
It starts with you. It starts with me. And it starts with us reminding each other when one does start gossiping on the fact that there is no point discussing this unless it’s going to be spoken to the source directly. (Through and email/a call /face to face)

When you express what you feel directly to the source, you will also gain the respect from the person you express to as you rather came to him/her directly rather than talk behind his/her back.
Just put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What would you rather a person you have unintentionally/ intentionally upset you do ?

The bigger a company I believe it’s harder but it’s not impossible.
The smaller a company it’s easier to have a close bonded relationship between co-workers and managers. (Especially in a HR company where we teach and train and consult on these matters, I am sure we should be the best to practice it.)

Why do people gossip? List it down. When you narrow down the reasons, you’d probably never consider doing that.
Try it.
You’ll be surprised with the reason you come up with and you would not want to be categorized as any of them.

In any working environment, there are many types of people, some that just does their work and care less of making a difference, some that does the work and expect more from the company and complains, some who work, wanting to make a difference but can be perceived wrongly by others, some that just criticizes everything that comes along , some that are in our Malay terms, ‘lalang’, some that just keeps quiet and may have all the ideas ye choose not to say anything and many other types of people.
You determine the type you want to be.
In anywhere, It’s either you are contributing or you are not.
And the value of contribution boils down to your environment and what difference are you making it.

So if you want to be happy where ever you are, I feel the happiest feeling you to have is by making a difference either in a person, a passerby, a friend, a family member or an organization itself.
Making a difference having no strings attached and no expectation.

When you make yourself happy, only you are happy.
When you make a difference and others happy, you will feel 100X the feeling of happy you would have had making yourself happy.
Even if you are not acknowledged for it.
Deep down inside the happy feeling will be there as you know you made a difference for someone or something for the better and although you may not be appreciated for it, whatever difference you would have made that is practiced from then on is a contribution from you and you constant act.

Kapila Khindriya

Love & Lost

There are times in life when a person you will want to love and be with for the rest of your life , walks into your life. Sometimes, just sometimes, you hurt that person, you disappoint that person over and over again. You push her away by prioritizing other things over her, making her feel all so low , unwanted, unappreciated and taken for granted.

Due to this attitude of yours, you loose that person, and due to Ego and Temper, you give up without thinking, and make her start walking away. Day by day, you make her stronger to be without you and make her realise how worthy she is and how unworthy you make her feel, till one day she disappears from your life..

After sometime, sometimes after a long time, you'll realise what you had and what you had let go, you'd realise what you miss and what you lost.You then might feel too weak and afraid to move on. You might regret it so much and want it to come back around, but by then it might be too late.

If that person was the one for you, and if she was the person you know you can't do without, the person you love more than anything and the one that brought ultimate joy and the fact that you let her go, all you can do is hope she forgives you someday.

And if you do by any lucky chance, get the second chance, remember the past and learn from your mistakes and never ever let yourself neither repeat those mistakes nor ever take the chance to take her for granted and letting her go.By doing this, you'll realise, that a lifetime of happiness awaits you. And if you are wise, you'll learn that in everything efforts and care matters, and so does she

And if all goes well and when every morning you open your eyes and if you've got that special someone next to you , tell yourself that the relationship you and your special someone shares is something unique , special and precious and should be kept that way.

Every second of every minute of every day is a gift . Give and Give and Love and Love and Love as if it will never End, and it won't. But even if it does, you'd have no regrets as you gave your best. And you'll never have to life with a What If..

By Kapila Khindriya

My Hero..

As adorable as a child..as caring as a mother, as genuine as diamonds are, as reliable as a true friend. The one who has always been there by my side, to support me more than anyone in this world is this .. His My Father!.

I am sure to every child, his/her father is the best role model.
But to me, my father is not just that. Pitaji (my father) has been my inspiration, my guardian angel, my advisor, my confidant, my best friend.

The one man I can share my thoughts and seek advice and guidance,having no fear of being judged and knowing for sure that he will have entirely my best interest at heart.

The way he lives his life each day, the warmth and kidness anyone would feel around him, the self-lessness and giving nature, thats truly admirable..That's my father.

Some people say parents are a form of God presence /God. I have a living example in my life and I feel truly blessed.

And if someday I am half the person he is, I'd consider myself truly lucky

My Father..He is not just One In a MIllion But His my Hero...

Turning 21

As I turn 21 in 12 days, I feel a whole lot different from the way I assumed I would. From a child to a teenager, I had been impatiently awaiting the day I turned 21, having the dream that the man of my dreams would come into my life, sweep me off my feet and propose to me with a diamond ring. I assumed that life after 21 was nothing but total freedom and a happy ever after like the fairy tales...But now, as I come closer to the day I turn 21, I realise it's not how I always thought it would be. Day by day, I realise there are so much more responsibilities and decisions I will have to make on my own that could change my life forever. However, in my 21 years, I've learnt a lot from life. I've learnt to cherish every pleasant moment and face the challeges that confronted me with a brave heart and learnt from every step I have taken since I was a child. I wouldn't say my childhood was the best any child would have had, nor would I say it's the worst compared to any other child. Coz I still remember how much my brothers had bullied me and how much I hated my life as a child because I was the youngest and the weaker one..but as I grew I realised that back then, all myy brothers did was they made me a stronger person in the world. I hated being the only girl with no sister. I begged for a sister so I would have a friend..and again later realised that being the only girl, I got all the attention and luxury my brothers didn't have. When I turned 16, I felt like a young adult..a real teenager. These are the years that I learnt about the world. I saw people's true colours and realised that there are very different types of people in life: good, bad, bad and ugly. People that could be mean and people that could be heartless even though he or she was a friend. I learnt that what people say is not always what they mean and I realise that every step taken has to be taken very carefully as you will never have a clue when you fall and you'd be surprised that the cause of your fall could be caused by a dear friend. These were the years I learnt the meaning of true friendship and love and that life can only be beautiful if you want it to be. I realise that no one can make you cry unless you let them. I realised that I am special and that not many have a unique quality in me. I know my dreams can come true if I want them to, and nobody can stop me but myself. So as I turn 21, I am sure to miss my past ..but I never wish I could turn back time coz if I did, I may not be the person I am today, nor have the friends and love I have. But I will never forget my past, as it plays a massive role in every step I take. I am grateful to God for each incident and experience I have gone through in the past and pray to God to guide me even more in each step I take and in each decision I make after this. By Kapila Khindriya